Genya Kosheleva Part 3

December 25, 2011, Friday

I see Tanya in the evening for Christmas.  She is already drunk when she arrives. I can not wait to get rid of her.  

December 26, 2012, Saturday

I awake to seeing that Genya called me twice in the morning.  And I saw that Angela the madam called as well. So knowing how poorly I communicate with Genya especially on the phone, I returned Angela’s call.  I learned that Genya had been out with Alexander and got beaten up.

MEDEM

At the doctors I learn that she fell on her head when she was 5.  This might contribute to her poor memory.

     

She barely remembered our evening together last week.  She remembered that my first girlfriend was a brunette and was 7.  She says she did not remember meeting the singer and getting her contact details.  She says she does not remember putting the Lera Lera links on her vkontakte page at 4 in the morning.    

Little Girl Lost

December 27, 2012, Sunday

We clean the apartment together.  I enjoy taking her direction. Again, I only want to please and to see her smile.  I really have never felt this way, even when I fell in love with Svetlana years ago.  She has me put the chairs up on the kitchen table, and I am only happy to do whatever she says.  What madness is this?

Katya and I go to the bank to transfer about $200 to her sister and I go to transfer to Genya’s mom.  

As Genya sleeps Katya and Angela call to learn her status.  I feel crucial and important in this silly game. I am her savior, protector, customer and lover.  But I am all these things in shadow and cannot tell many of this relationship. Posting a picture of us together on vkontakte just tells me how little I care or how much pain I feel, I am not sure which.  The bank transfer codes do not work. Genya is upset as her mom is in the bank for hours supposedly. True or not, one never knows in the fog that is Genya. She surrounds me I only want to touch her and to hold her.  I don’t care that she can never work and make better money than she has today. She does need a man to take care of her, but in this country where a man has a choice of 1 million girls why would he put up with her shit.  And as her mental horsepower is limited it seems unlikely that she will have great epiphanys. Svetlana has such talent and potential compared to Genya. I love Svetlana and think it cruel to part from her. But it is cruel to stay with her.  All she wanted was one more child. And I did not. My strong will. My pulling away led me down this path. Would I be better off divorced? What happens to Nick? I would have the opportunity to be honest in my relationships. But I might be described as damaged goods at this stage of the game.  

I think I will see Genya again.  I know that I want to. I know that I want to feel that intoxication again.  But do I also want to feel the pain? Really truly the best idea is to see her only as a customer.  But I love taking her out. Sitting next to her in the Uzbek restaurant. Chatting with her about the food.  Ordering with her. I just want to surround her, engulf her.

Katya comes by to go make their weekly remittances to Angren.  Katya to her sister and Genya to her mom. I can see that Katya begrudges my favoring Genya.  As she knows Genya in a way that I do not.

Genya and I drink scotch, get high and I eat her, fuck her, eat her and fuck and cum inside her and continue to fuck her and I cum again inside her.  The cumstains on the sheet the next day were significant. But I fuck her differently than I used to. And I conjecture that this has hurt the relationship.  I got into video taping our fucking. When Genya drinks she gets uninhibited fairly quickly. While I fuck her from behind she tells me not to look and she starts to look for ‘parnuxa’ which I figure out is porn.  I honor her request and do not look but for a quick peek or two. The next day I check the history file and I see the porn she chose was gangbang sex – stuff that I love to watch. I love that Genya appears to get off on this.  http://vk.com/video132943433_161931229?section=all  

I work my finger into her asshole as I eat her pussy.  She comes twice in the evening. She is an anal kitty. I have only fucked her once anally, and she does like it.  In one of the sex videos we made, her asshole looked a little used…

December 28, 2012, Monday

We drink and watch and talk about our relationship.  She calls me a liar for not telling her that Sasha told me he did not love her.  She posts on vkontakte or odnoklassniki how he is a fox who has accessed her online profiles to post shit about her.  And he posts lots of shit about her with direct references to her work as a prostitute.

She drinks scotch and asks me if I can get another bottle.  I eagerly agree and make my way to the shop on the street. As it is after midnight they cannot legally sell me the red label.  But this is Russia. I tell the shop girl that I would really like to buy this bottle of scotch and she says wait until the other customers leave.  I love Russia sometimes. They leave; I buy the bottle of scotch. I return to the apartment, I return to Genya. We drink more.

We play drunken ping pong. We run wild down the street. I slide after her under the ping pong table.  We have such fun. She takes her jacket off in the night air and shouts ‘mi gulaem na sveji vosdox’! I can’t stop smiling.  Being near her intoxicates me. Simply intoxicates. We get to a cab to go to a club after we pop into Dubai. She tells me that Dubai is no disco club.  We head back on the street at 4 am. We go out to Marstall and she throws up in the stall. Day and night are no different in our world. We sleep all day.  

We drive in a gypsy cab across the Neva.  The driver is Uzbek. Genya sits in the front – she exclaims that she is an “Uzbechka” and is very happy about it.  Today I flip through my mind moving to Angren, Uzbekistan and what would that be like. That would outflank Sasha, but I think it more than a bit of a suicide move for so many other parts of my life.  I recall Mike Hammonds story of the German engineer who found his soul mate on his first night in Russia at Night Flight.

We return home.  She throws up more and I get her a pail as she lays in my bed.  I leave the Christmas tree lights on and my PC is playing Uzbek pop music from her vkontakte page.  All night. And I change the bucket and clean it and return it to her. She is in no state. I lay behind her and empathize.  No sex. The only sex was the night earlier.

I explain to Genya knowing that she will not recall much of this conversation, how she inspired me to get a good job and to get off my ass.  I don’t begrudge her the money I have spent during these days - $1000 in overpriced but compotent medical services. Some dresses. A cellphone and 4 little cellphone bags that one miught buy for a 14 year old daughter.  In the cellphone shop she has the look of an animal. Sasha was right – she is the Uzbek equivalent of a country bumpkin. I wonder that when I received her sms a few days later in the wee hours of the morning - 3:10 asking me to bring her stuff to the salon tomorrow.  I am so sad. I wonder how much they fucked and my stomach turns. But I understand how Sasha feels. If her effect on him is as it is on me, I completely understand. I know Sasha is bad for her, but she is bad for anyone. Lazy, as she told me while slightly drunk that she got 2s and 3s in school.  Her mind is damaged in some way. To have a relationship with her would be hard on any man. She is a petulant child. But my heart reaches to her as I know she has a four year old child. That she sends 6000 rubles a week to her family inspires me.

We watch movies, something with the fellow that played the werewolf in the Twilight movie.  Followed by Alvin and the Chipmunks. Anything in Russian I can find on the torrent sites. We lay side by side.  She reclines with her head on my arm, but not in my arm. I don’t care. It is wonderful to be next to her. I can’t stop staring.  I remember being in that phase with my wife years ago.

December 29, 2011, Tuesday

Genya is on the phone with Sasha while we are driving back from the clinic – I hear lots of the conversation.  Something about him knowing what will scare her. I ask her what is he referring to. She does not answer. My heart reels.  I so want to solve the problem that is Genya. Much like I wanted to solve the problem that is Svetlana years ago. I know all these feelings are from my perceptions.  This is not about her. It is about me. She angrily hangs up on Sasha? Genya calls her Mom and tells her that she is working as a prostitute. I gasp. She cries. I cry.  So that is what Sasha was on about. He does know how to plug into her. Genya’s mom learns she has been working as a prostitute. We cried in the car together.

At Medem she seemed pleased.  She does not buckle up when we drive.  I buckled her once and she unbuckled it.  She does not like it when I reach into her that way.  Genya is more brittle this year compared to the year before.  Certainly, she just had her first and unlikely last beating at the hands of a boyfriend.  

Sasha calls and sends offensive smses to Genya and to my phone.  Most I deleted and they were far worse than these few I have in emails from December 29th.  

“Я ее давно знал. А ты сама вынудила меня. Так что иди и делай рику качественный миньет,за билет. И подарки готовь,я не шучу. Я тебя не ебу,и оставлять тебе их не хочу. Я тебя ненавижу,конченная,отстань от меня.”

“I have known her a long time. And you yourself forced ​​me. So go and give Rick a quality blow job, for your ticket. And gifts are ready, I'm not kidding. I will not fuck you, and to leave them to you I do not want. I hate you, finally, get away from me.”

Сто хуев тебе в жопу. Конченная врунья.

A hundred cocks in your ass.  Washed-up liar.

She sends him

дабро какое что я в бальнице во тэта дабро придурак если меня ты нематерил я бы тоже нематерила бы тебя.

I am in the hospital for the head idiot if you did not force me I also would not have sworn at you.  

Genya messages Katya.

Екатерина Беликова 29 дек 2011 в 22:29

normalno kaka sama ya sivodnya pashla v balnichu i mne skazali chtobi ya ne smotrela telek,ne..

December 30, 2012, Wednesday

Genya has decided to leave this day, December 30th.  I can feel it.  Note the heels.

Gen gets dressed at 16:00.  She slept til 15:00. The real estate agent called.  I put on Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 for her. We can go see a nearby flat.  She agrees. Then she changes her mind. Then she changes her mind again. We go but are ten minutes late.  She complains that she does not feel well. As she slept so late and we had not drunk the night before makes me think she was feeling worse.  She complained that her stomach was worse.

The day she left walking at 17:00 into the Petrogradskiy metro for her 17:30 meeting with Sasha.  I knew then she would not be back. I knew it the night before when Sasha called and kept her on the phone.  They do have a relationship and there is love in there somewhere as well. He plugs into her in a way that I do not.  

I tell her we can solve the problem of her apartment.  I will simply buy one and she can live in it with her mom and child.  Later in the evening as we drove from the apartment showing (which was horrifying) she started talking about how quickly we could get her brothers here and how they will all live together in this one room flat.  I am taken aback because while I have told her I will help her and move her family here. She said she agreed to be with me with one word – soglasen (I agree). I am overjoyed. But this is Genya, and she changes all the time…  

I am amazed at how easily I take the decision to buy an apartment.  

The complexity of her work permit, visa, etc concerns.  The lack of communication on the topic perplexes and astounds.  I run a quick cash flow that convinces me I can take the expense of an apartment for her.  I feel drive to make this all happen. If she would be consistent to me and want me as I want her I could do the hard stuff.  Damn those consequences. I will be on the top of my game and be fair to Svetlana and take care of Nick. But deep inside I feel that Nick gets shortchanged.  I take this job and I am with him less. I hate raising my voice. I explain to Genya after drinks.

She tells me that she does not discuss even with Sasha about the sex she has in the salon.  Any attention from Genya makes my heart soar. I so want to please her. I would do for her what I would not do for Svetlana.  That strikes me as awful. As I recollect these tales I am so happy to know where she is and that she is sleeping. The thought flits through my mind – Sasha fucked her and I am sure up the ass as well.  To make his point. He likely got a drink into her and then it all went the way it went. How does G feel? As she loses control does she understand? I told her not to go. If I had only shut off the ringer on her phone last night.  If only. Maybe she would be here tonight.

I tell myself that I gave it a shot and I that I am happy that I had that chance.  I explained to Genya. Sasha calls her Genka. I stumble when I speak with her in a way I am unused to.  She does not like when I ask her to repeat something. She has no fascination for my foreigness. Usually this is something of a superpower for me, but with how I feel towards her, I am unarmed and too concerned.  She bores easily.

Angela calls me – consoling me.  Here is a woman who is a woman – smart, experienced and having lived through the 90s and those troubled times.  She is a fat woman, not horribly so, but just the same. Last week I brought her and Genya both bottles of red wine in a set of mini-santa pants.   Angela provides perspective, shares insight, and tells me bits and pieces of how this business works, which I find thrilling.

December 31, 2011, Thursday

Another sad New Years Eve.  But I am gladdened to know that old friend Chris Moore is coming to Piter tonight.  I slept for an hour at 10 am until Svetlana called. Could not get back to sleep. Cried.  I feel like my favorite drug has been pulled away from me. I begin to think thoughts well she did not say that

I exchange smses with Sasha where we reconcile and he thanks me for taking care of her.  I tell him I am filled with sadness but that now I understand. Genya won’t show her appreciation in the way one wants for anything done for her.  I told Angela how much I had spent on her. She was appalled.

I speak with Svetlana.  She says how she is happy and that Nick can walk just outside the apartment and slide down a snowy hill.  I fill with more sadness for choices I have made.

And I just want to cry.

I learned that she lies and does not answer questions which is frustrating.  I so much wanted her. All physical and the idea of her coming from such a hard and disadvantaged background  - all appealing to me and my ‘issues’. Every night laying in bed next to her. The attraction I felt to her, incredible.  Rational thought vanished.

Angela just calls.  She likes me. I like her.  It is a funny old world when I have a friend who is a madam of a brothel in the heart of St. Petersburg historic whoring district.  

January 1, 2012, Friday

Happy New Year!  Chris and I spend the day together.  I tell we will go out someplace fun and I drive us right back to Marata 56.   Chris goes along. We go back and Genya and Katya are servicing other customers.  Chris and I wait and I fuck and cry into Genya. I come inside her weeping. She is a little drunk and very happy.  We are completely wet. I tell her that I will always be loyal to her. In December only I understand this was my New Year’s pledge and I kept it…

I especially noticed that her labia was engorged from the customer she serviced prior to me.  She tells me that she loves me sometimes.

Genya at 5:48 am on January 1st after having fucked me and someone just before me.  

Katya at 11:37 pm on Jan 1

January 2, 2012, Monday

I take Chris out telling him we will go to another salon and I drive us straight back to Marata 56.  We go for an hour. We are met by Asya who is really Mariana, a short but full figured brunette.

We learn that Genya and Katya are busy servicing other customers.  This is probably a good thing. So Marina offers us tea and cake and brings us into the kitchen.  We accept and sit for 20-30 minutes waiting for the girls to finish their work with their existing clients.  I see Genya’s cheap light blue jacket on the couch. The emotion is not so strong. Perhaps because the stakes are not now high.  As we sit in the kitchen, we can see first Katya escort her client to the bathroom for a shower and shortly after my Genya. Genya sits in the kitchen having just been fucked by someone she likely just met and we sit as this is normal.  And in our world it is. Fuck.

When I am inside Genya later, I can feel how she is looser having just been fucked by some unknown Russian.  We start our session laying next to each other. She avoids kissing me on the mouth, only to succumb later after I have eaten her and have cum inside her for the 4th time in our ‘relationship’.  I want to cry and I hold her tight.  She lays prone. Her nipples harden; I play with her pussy.  I become erect but not as fully as I can. My mind is affected by the weeks turmoil and events.  It is good to be inside her. She is wet. As I eat her I poke a finger in her ass but not as deep as I did as when she was with me.  When she lived with me, we only had sex after we drank and smoked. The sex was intense. This sex was intense in a different way. In a way it was accepting the reality.  She is a whore from Uzbekistan. I am her client. At some point I ask if she has time we can meet outside of here. She declines. The new rules are in place. But I have shown her a part of myself as she has shown me a part of herself.  I do think that part of the reason Sasha beat her was that I was showing her so much attention and buying her gifts.

She tells me that her notebook was stolen while she was away.  This may or may not be true. I don’t know that she still has the 8000 ruble LG cellphone I bought her.  She later gives this to her brother Vova.

But I am at ease.  As I ejaculated inside her and kissed her and covered her with myself and sweated all over her, I shuddered wanting to cry as the emotions rolled up again.  But I did not, as that would not be perceived as manly.

I told her that I missed when our legs would be tangled together in my bed.  I think she remembers enough of our time together to recall that.

She is a lying whore.  But the lies are insignificant and she is tiny and needs to defend herself having grown up poor in Uzbekistan.  I mention to her how I was relieved when I received her text at 3 am. She lies and tells me she met with a girlfriend for a drink.  This is a face saving lie. She was likely getting ass fucked by Sasha for hours which explains his relief and pleasant texts a few hours later to me.  I will never know. I do not need to.

I am off the hook.  I do not have to take responsibility for her.  I was willing. I wanted to but am relieved that I do not have to.  My friend Chris really helped by coming and staying with me for these two days.  

She kisses me and tells me that maybe she does love me.  I say it doesn’t matter that I love her regardless, but that I am her friend and will be her true friend.  

I have learned a lot this week about Genya and myself and also about my friend Chris.  And as I turn to go to sleep in a bed that no longer has Genya in it, I am no longer lonely; I am so desperately happy that I have a life that is not dull.